Taking the Fear Out of Birth: Loss of Privacy/Modesty

I would like to welcome today guest writer Kylie Saari.  When I moved back to southern Minnesota, I was very fortunate to come into contact with her as a fellow birth worker.  Since then, we have been working together to provide many of the new opportunities and resources for pregnant women in the Fairmont area.  Together, we are writing the Taking the Fear Out of Birth column for the Photo Press we will be sharing that with all of my readers.  This is an excellent column on the fear of "Loss of Privacy/Modesty" that appeared in the Fairmont Photo Press two weeks ago.  Enjoy!

Taking the Fear Out of Birth: Loss of Privacy/Modesty

by Kylie Saari, birth doula, Family Birth Support Services

Over the years, the concern for privacy in the medical fields has lead hospitals to create private labor and delivery rooms and wards so quiet, it is often difficult to know if there are any other women on the floor. Nurses and doctors knock before they enter a room, and ask permission before performing any procedures.

Despite the focus on patient privacy, many pregnant women continue to list the fear of a loss of privacy and the loss of modesty as one of their biggest concerns about labor, specifically the fear of being undressed in front of strangers or losing control of their bodies.

In an uncomplicated birth, a baby exits the mother from an area she typically keeps covered, so it is unsurprising this could cause a bit of alarm, especially for first-time moms. Another reason laboring moms tend to shed their clothing during labor is simply because their bodies are working hard, and as with any strenuous exercise, they get hot. It can be unsettling to women when they hear other moms recall birth stories saying they didn’t even think about their state of undress, and if they had thought about it, they wouldn’t have cared. It can be frightening to think of yourself acting in a different way than you would in a “normal” situation.

Despite widespread concern of pregnant women on this issue, few moms report feelings of humiliation or embarrassment following birth. In fact, there is at least one childbirth preparation method that teaches labor coaches to watch for the changes to laboring mom’s level of modesty. As her cervix dilates and she moves toward transition, the period of labor before she begins pushing, her level of modesty decreases. I have attended moms in five different hospital systems, and have never met a mom who recalled feeling embarrassed about what she was wearing during labor. Her body is completely focused on the task at hand, and those attending the birth are unlikely to be phased by it.

Still, there are ways to for mom to keep covered during labor. It isn’t unusual to find moms in labor wearing sports bras to keep themselves covered up top, even if their lower half needs to be exposed. Hospital gowns and robes, while not particularly stylish, keep do a fairly good job of keeping mom covered, especially when she is out walking the halls during a particularly long labor. There are even specifically made labor gowns available for purchase online.

Labor gowns typically look like a cross between a sundress and a nightgown, with halter straps that can be untied for breastfeeding, low cut back to facilitate an epidural, and two front slits to accommodate external monitors. The dresses range in cost from $25 - $150, and while I have concerns about the emphasis some of the websites put on making sure mom is pretty during labor and the idea of capitalizing on someone’s fear, the dresses themselves seem like a reasonable alternative to a hospital gown if a woman is set on it.

As for “losing control”, it is important to remember that the pregnant woman’s body should be in control of labor - not necessarily her mind. In unmedicated births, body changes, both chemical and physical, work in concert, without much higher level thinking involved. Learning to surrender to labor, to trust that the body knows what it is doing, will do wonders toward shortening labor, relieving pain, and smoothly delivering a baby. If a woman and her labor support person understand the changes in labor, and know what to expect, it is unlikely she will be embarrassed in the process.

For more information on the stages of labor and how to prepare for birth, contact, Kylie Saari at familybirthsupport@hotmail.com, or Amy Wehner at amywehner30@gmail.com.